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xxcoolbeaverxx

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[09 Mar 2006|08:32am]
[ mood | tired ]

fuck life is crazy.. i went from not having a job just hangingout and smoking weed everyday.. to having two jobs one in construction for 8 hours a day then work the register at campos for 6 hours life is great... SIKE THE FUCK OUT!!!

7Shattered Realms|Realms

[16 Jan 2006|03:14pm]
[ mood | cold ]

havent been on this for a few weeks.. well ive been chilling like always... been trying to find a job and ive been training and going to the gym alot... my first fight is going to be in march its going to be a muay thai kickboxing tournament so that should be dope.. but other than that im just chilling

Realms

[31 Dec 2005|12:59pm]
[ mood | high ]

I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don't lie
And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect
That has no alibi
New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there's no ring on the phone anymore
There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry
But at the right place at the right time
I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
For anyone but me
And at the right place at the right time
It will have been worth it to stand in line
And you won't have to stop
Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me
Your private eye

Realms

[26 Dec 2005|01:25am]
Best friends VS Friends

Friends VS Best Friends


Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink

Best friend: Help themselves and are the reason why I have no food


Friend: calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa

Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom and Grandpa, GRAMPS!


Friend: would bail you out of jail

Best friend: would be sitting next to you sayin "DAME WE FUCKED UP"


Friend: has never seen you cry

Best friend: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in privately when your not still down.


Friend: asks you to write down your number.

Best friend: have you on speed dial


Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

Best friend: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."


Friend: only knows a few things about you

Best friend: could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...


Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing or for someone else

Best friend: Will kick the whole crowd that left you and never leave you hanging


Friends: would knock on your front door

Best friends: walk right in and say "I'M HOME"


Friends: you have to tell them not to tell anyone

Best friends: They already know not to tell


Friends: are only through highschool

Bestfriends: They are for life


Friends: will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough

Best Friends: will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"
Realms

[10 Nov 2005|12:18pm]
The force of my love was strong
The sea lion laying down on
The song in the air
Was fritting her care
With singer can be among song

Ma, ma look what I did ma
Look what I did to my hands
I broke 'em
You gave me the stone, gave me the chisel
Didn't say how to hold 'em
Didn't say give away every piece of the puzzle
Till I was left with nothin'
But I took it upon myself to crush it up and distribute the dust
Get in the bus, hop in the van
Jump in the water, crawl to the land
Build another castle out of the sand
Break it down and then I get into the saddle again
Gone city to city
I'm already lost to the boss
Who is new in town
I'ma ride this horse till it bucks me off
And I'm forced to shoot it down
I'ma take him out for some gasoline
I'ma trade this cow for some magic beans

Make mom proud of the deals that I've made
Cause I'm just a modern day Johnny Appleseed
But I'm glad that I never passed the gins
And I never put down the axe
Piano man got checkered dance floor
The grace and the painful look on his face
Cause the crowd is packed
And the louder they clapped
The less he is able to make the connection
Between what he sees when he hears certain notes
And the hurt that is shown in his facial expression
I don't need your 'go-ahead' to go ahead
Y'all don't know if sales gon' be-easy
But sweet Jesus who wants to sleep with me
Way to many moves to learn
But not enough people to put 'em on
Look it mom
No hands
I built a suit of armor with wooden arms

The force of my love was strong
The sea lion laying down on
The song in the air
Was fritting her care
With singer can be among song
Realms

[07 Nov 2005|01:45am]
I climb, hand over hand, closing my eyes
Too scared to look down
I climb, hand over hand
Putting distance between I and I and the ground

I get to the top
I stand on the edge
I look to the sky, and say all my prayers

What could be better than a swan dive into the asphalt
I don't know, nothing can be better than a swan dive into the asphalt

You should ask somebody, 'Cause I've got nothing to lose tonight
I misplaced my life tonight, chased all my friends away tonight
I don't say the right things
I don't look the right way
That's just not me
I listen to my music too loud, a watch too much damn TV

Tell me, who can control the flood?
No one
Where are the angels?
Nowhere
Where's the compassion?
Nowhere
Who knows the truth?
No one
Who will believe in me?
No one
Who will stand by me?
No one
Who will fly with me?
No one

I climb, hand over hand, closing my eyes
Too scared to look down
I climb, hand over hand
Putting distance between I and I and the ground

I get to the top, stand on the edge, look to the sky

There's nothing left for me






I don't give a fuck!
I'm a hitman, I'm a stalker, I'm a solider, I'm a street walker
Fuck you!
You don't know me , I'm a freak
Never slow down, never sleep

Don't play with me, see me, stay away from me
Just let me ride!
No you can't fade me,
I ain't trying to hear shit that you saying to me


Everybody dies

Just let me

There is nothing wrong with me
I'm not trying to see things your way
I'm not lost, I'm not drowning, I'm not lost
I'm just waiting, waiting to die

I'll bust yo lip!
Keep talking shit, guard your grill
A Killer will fire at will
I fuck the system
That first fucked me
I question the authority to kill a minority
Fuck you!
No, Fuck you, I'm a freak,
I ain't trying to hear shit that you saying to me

Everybody dies







We used to drive all night
She used to call me all the time
Now she don't
She used to call me all the time
We'd go out all the time
You little angel, you look so fine

Why the fuck you fucking with me
Why the fuck you playing with me
Why the fuck you wasting my time
Why the fuck you hiding my sunshine

With friends like you who really needs it
Your smiling face is misplaced, you're so deceiving
I can feel my spirit leaving
I cut my wrists you see them bleeding
Just like a parasite you creeping
See me psychotic, see me jumping of the deep end

We used to drive all night
She used to call me all the time
Now she don't
She used to call me all the time
We'd go out all the time
But that's over and its done, and its all right, oh yeah

Why won't you just leave me alone
Why won't you take your funky ass on home
You got nothing to say that I want to hear
I see through you, you perfectly clear

With friends like you who really needs it
Your smiling face is misplaced, you're so deceiving
I can feel my spirit leaving
I cut my wrists you feel them bleeding
Just like a parasite you creeping
Suffer like the fucking crucifixion
Cover me with dirt, there won't be no resurrection
See me psychotic, see me jumping off the deep end

We used to drive all night
She used to call me all the time
Now she don't
She used to call me all the time
We'd go out all the time
You little angel, you look so fine

If I told you how I felt, you would throw it back at me
Your wicked mouth would laugh at me
I hear you laughing at me
Your eyes could never lie to me
Words are all lies to me, it's all lies to me

With friends like you who really needs it
Your smiling face is misplaced, your so deceiving
I can feel my spirit leaving
You cut my wrists, you feel them bleeding
Just like a parasite you creeping
Baby got me psychotic, got me jumping of the deep end
Realms

[24 Oct 2005|03:08pm]
[ mood | blah ]

this is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

6Shattered Realms|Realms

[05 Oct 2005|04:20am]
I have to let you die.
I have to let you fade.
So spare me the male accusations.
I would have told you those things you wanted to hear
And I would have cared
The way you thought no one ever would.
And now my heart bleeds cold.
I refuse to be caressed by stone.
I now live emotionless and free from your pain.
My heart bleeds the darkest blood.
My heart is cold as stone
A rock feels no pain
No laughter. no loving. no contact


Avoid the mirror lest I break it.
With the stone that serves as my heart.
Accept this pretty package named friend.
Except this it entails love.
Not so attractive anymore.
Accept this pretty package named friend.
Except that it entails love.
It's never as pretty as it seems and now it never was at all.
No it never was.
All I asked was to be important.
All I wanted was someone to trust
In my eternal scheme, your act of friendship means nothing.
Friendships are weak and nothing is dear to me
Acquaintance stole my confidence.
My humor.
My compassion.
My solace.
Left me with myself and laughed as it walked away
I refuse to be your tolerance, I will not be your embarrassment.
I'm not so attractive any more.
Take this burden away.
I can only stand in front of a broken mirror for so long
Staring at the reflection of failed attempts at love and a black heart.
My heart, once nourished with hope and compassion, now is black as death.
Trudging forward, broken, devoid of love
I am nothing more than scars.
Realms

[04 Sep 2005|02:00pm]
You left me here to suffer
You left me dying alone
It's only made me stronger
Your day will surely come
But for now I lay in wait
Full of bitterness
Filled with hate
Can you see the pain you caused me
You will feel the pain you caused me

Empty promises written in stone
Betrayed and left alone
Drowning in my misery
Befcause of you - I lost my sanity

Because of you I will never love again

Because of you I will never love again

Haunted by memories of a love
That left me filled with pain
I will never love again
I replaced your love with hate

Never love again
1Shattered Realm|Realms

[01 Sep 2005|02:02pm]
I know no other way
To take the pain
Insted of trying to make things better
I get fucked up everyday
I've got no future
I chose my path
I will keep burnin'
Burnin' till I crash

I've got no future
I chose my path
I will keep burnin'

When you've got nothin - you dont give a fuck
tired of sufferin - I've had enough

In my mind - It's an all out war
I dont think I can take anymore

Tryin' to keep my mind straight
But it's too hard when you're drowning in hate

When you've got nothin - you dont give a fuck
tired of sufferin - I've had enough

I know no other way
To take the pain
Insted of trying to make things better
I get fucked up everyday
7Shattered Realms|Realms

[14 Aug 2005|05:26am]
[ mood | tonight was awsome ]

tonight was fucking amazing.. thank you jean for having warren and i over tonight.. i am going to miss you soo much.. you better write to me all the time

8Shattered Realms|Realms

[04 Aug 2005|02:26am]
[ mood | :-] ]

went to we think in centuries show tonight out by skidrow seriously awsome time.. old friends new friends hangingout not having a care in the world.. thats how life should be.. you dont get a knife pulled on you by so crazy ass fucking crack head black lady.. tonight was great

1Shattered Realm|Realms

[28 Jul 2005|12:40am]
life is awsome.......... SIKE!!!!!!!!!!
2Shattered Realms|Realms

[19 Jul 2005|03:17am]

What kinda sex do you like?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Times you want to fuck a day.. 1
Fav. position the reverse piggy back
How you like it ROUGH BABY
Where do you like doing it In public places
how good are you? you make them moan for more
This fun quiz by sixmilesleft - Taken 230877 Times.
</a>
New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

5Shattered Realms|Realms

[12 Jul 2005|04:46pm]
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
1Shattered Realm|Realms

[11 Jul 2005|05:04am]
[ mood | awake ]

WHO THE FUCK SLEEPS!!!!! im going to try and stay up for 72 hours straight... wish me luck

1Shattered Realm|Realms

[10 Jul 2005|02:33am]
There's a war goin on outside, no man is safe from
You could run but you can't hide forever
from these, streets, that we done took
You walkin witcha head down scared to look
You shook, cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
They never around when the beef cooks in my part of town
It's similar to Vietnam
Now we all grown up and old, and beyond the cop's control
They better have the riot gear ready
Tryin to bag me and get rocked steady
by the mac one-double, I touch you
and leave you with not much to go home wit
My skin is thick, cause I be up in the mix of action
if I'm not at home, puffin lye relaxin
New York got a nigga depressed
So I wear a slug-proof underneath my Guess
God bless my soul, before I put my foot down and begin to stroll
And to the drama I built, and all unfinished beef
You will soon be killed, put us together
It's like mixin vodka and milk
I'm goin out blastin, takin my enemies with me
and if not, they scarred, so they will never forget me
Lord forgive me the Hennesey got me not knowin how to act
I'm fallin and I can't turn back
or maybe it's the words from my man Killa Black
that I can't say so it's left a untold fact, until my death
My goal's to stay alive
Survival of the fit only the strong survive

Yo, yo
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(We still livin it)
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(Thug life, we still livin it)
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(We still livin it)
We livin this til the day that we die
(we livin this til the day that we die)
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(survival of the fit only the strong..)

I'm trapped, in between two worlds, tryin to get dough y'know
When the dough get low the jewels go, but never that
As long as fiends smoke crack
I'll be on the block hustlin countin my stacks
No doubt, watchin my back and proceed with caution
Five-oh lurkin, no time to get lost in -- the system
Niggaz usin fake names to get out quick
My brother did it and got bagged with two ounces
I-llegal world where squads hit the block hard
Ask my man Twin when he got bagged, that fucked me up God
But shit happens for a reason
You find out who's your true peoples when you're upstate bleedin
You can't find a shorty to troop your bid witchu
Hit wit a 2 to 4 it's difficult
Wild on the streets I try to maintain
Tight with my loot, cause hoes like to run game
Some niggaz like to trick but I ain't wit that trickin shit
I'm like a Jew, savin dough so I can big whip
Pushin a Lex, now I'm set, ready to jet
No matter how much loot I get I'm stayin in the projects, forever
Jakes on the blocks we out-clever
If beef, we never seperate and pull together
When worse comes to worse and my peoples come first
Try to react and get them motherfuckin feelings hurt
My crew's all about loot
Fuck lookin cute, I'm strictly Timb boots and army certified suits
Puffin L's, laid back, enjoyin the smell
In the Bridge gettin down it ain't hard to tell
You better realize

We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(We still livin it)
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(Thug life, we still livin it)
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(We still livin it)
We livin this til the day that we die
Survival of the fit only the strong survive
(Thug life, we still livin it)
(the strong survive)

Look in the eyes and get wise
Look alive, in ninety-five, word up
Hypnotic thug life, get that ass paralyzed
Knahmsayin? Mobb Deep and all that..
5Shattered Realms|Realms

[07 Jul 2005|04:01pm]
[ mood | sad ]

life sucks.. i have fucked something soo amazing up.. sorry steph i really am.. being bummed is awsome SIKE... hopefully the show tomorrow will be ok.. the only person i want there wont be there.. i hate santa clarita.. i hate shitty kids out there.. i hate life..

maybe playing with my friends baby will cheer me up.. well im out of here

7Shattered Realms|Realms

[03 Jul 2005|06:59am]
[ mood | blah ]

so its about 7am and i havent been to bed yet and i dont thikn i will.. i want to go to IA's show at the knitting factory at noon so i have to stay up. it aint no thang i can stay up for days... life is fucking shitty right now i need money for tour so if anyone wants to donate some money let me know ... my mom is talking shit she is kicking me out if i go on tour so if anyone has a place for me to stay after tour let me know... my bday is in like a week and i dont want to be 20... i hate feeling old i just wish i could be a kid for the rest of my life... and to top things off im getting sick

Realms

[30 Jun 2005|05:18pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I got you stuck off the realness, we be the infamous
you heard of us
official Queensbridge murderers
the Mobb comes equipped with warfare, beware
of my crime family who got nuff shots to share
for all of those who wanna profile and pose
rock you in your face, stab your brain wit' your nosebone
you all alone in these streets, cousin
every man for theirself in this land we be gunnin'
and keep them shook crews runnin'
like they supposed to
they come around but they never come close to
I can see it inside your face
you're in the wrong place
cowards like you just get they're whole body laced up
with bullet holes and such
speak the wrong words man and you will get touched
you can put your whole army against my team and
I guarantee you it'll be your very last time breathin'
your simple words just don't move me
you're minor, we're major
you all up in the game and don't deserve to be a player
don't make me have to call your name out
your crew is featherweight
my gunshots'll make you levitate
I'm only nineteen but my mind is old
and when the things get for real my warm heart turns cold
another nigga deceased, another story gets told
it ain't nothin' really
hey, yo dun spark the Phillie
so I can get my mind off these yellowbacked niggas
why they still alive I don't know, go figure
meanwhile back in Queens the realness is foundation
if I die I couldn't choose a better location
when the slugs penetrate you feel a burning sensation
getting closer to God in a tight situation
now, take these words home and think it through
or the next rhyme I write might be about you

Son, they shook...
'cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death, scared to look
they shook
'cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death, scared to look

livin' the live that of diamonds and guns
there's numerous ways you can choose to earn funds...earn funds
some of 'em get shot, locked down and turn nuns
cowardly hearts end straight up shook ones...shook ones
he ain't a crook son, he's just a shook one...shook one

For every rhyme I write, its 25 to life
yo, it's a must the gats we trust safeguardin' my life
ain't no time for hesitation
that only leads to incarceration
you don't know me, there's no relation
Queensbridge niggas don't play
I don't got time for your petty thinking mind
son, I'm bigga than those claimin' that you pack heat
but you're scared to hold
and when the smoke clears you'll be left with one in your dome
13 years in the projects, my mentality is what, kid
you talk a good one but you don't want it
sometimes I wonder do I deserve to live
or am I going to burn in hell for all the things I did
no time to dwell on that 'cause my brain reacts
front if you want kid, lay on your back
I don't fake jacks kid, you know I bring it to you live
stay in a child's place, kid you out o' line
criminal minds thirsty for recognition
I'm sippin' E&J, got my mind flippin'
I'm buggin' think I'm how bizar to hold my hustlin'
get that loot kid, you know my function
cause long as I'm alive I'ma live illegal
and once I get on I'ma put on, on my people
react mix to lyrics like Macs I hit your dome up
when I roll up, don't be caught sleepin'
cause I'm creepin'


Son, they shook...
'cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death and scared to look
(he's just a shook one)
they shook...
'cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death and scared to look
(we live the live that of diamonds)

they shook...
'cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death and scared to look
they shook...
'cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks, crooks..

livin' the live that of diamonds and guns
there's numerous ways you can choose to earn funds...earn funds
but some of 'em get shot, locked down and turn nuns
cowardly hearts end straight up shook ones...shook ones
he ain't a crook son, he's just a shook one...shook one

Yeah, yeah, yeah
To all the villains and a hundred dollar billas
To real brothers who ain't got no dealings
G-yeah, the whole Bridge, Queens get the money
41st side (he's just a shook one)
keepin' it real (you know)
Queens get the money...

Realms

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